Teacher Martyr Complex: Just Stop!

 

Teacher Martyr Complex: Just Stop!

Teaching--a noble profession where one continuously puts the students', parents', co-workers', and districts' needs above their own. Good teachers make huge sacrifices in their personal lives. They work long hours. They often put in free hours just because they love their jobs so much! Teachers put aside their health and sanity for the sake of others. Teachers care so much about children that they do not need competitive salaries, because after all, it is not about the money...

All of the above makes me want to vomit. 

Seriously, the expectation of martyrdom being part of a teacher's job, makes me want to blow chunks, and it should make you feel the same. 

Martyr Complex: a martyr complex is a destructive pattern of behavior in which a person habitually seeks suffering or persecution as a way to feel "good" about themselves. 

This translates into teaching by feeling that you must always go above and beyond to be a good teacher. A teacher with martyr complex may also feel that they are "better" than other teachers because they stay late or do extra things for free, etc... 

This post may make you feel uncomfortable, but martyr complex is a destructive and toxic way of thinking. 

I was a martyr teacher for many years. 

Here's some of the things I would do. See if they sound familiar: 

As an English teacher, I would spend hours and hours (sometimes up to 30 hours grading essays). 

I felt this was my cross to carry. As if somehow, English teachers were BETTER people than other types of teachers. I would take my red pen and mark up EVERY single mistake, would comment on EVERYTHING on each paper. That poor kids' paper would look like a bloody red mess of ink.  Then I would get angry or hurt when the kids didn't read all of my comments. But seriously, why would anyone want to read a red sea of every tiny thing they did wrong? Why do we expect students to savor our corrections like they are manna from heaven? They are glancing at their grade and moving on with their lives. As they should!

How I changed: I don't mark up papers. I still assign a lot of writing. I do everything digitally and just write a paragraph or two at the end of the paper. I like using the Sandwich Method. Write what's good, write what needs to be fixed (ie: I write "fix your spelling mistakes"-I don't do it for them), give encouragement. Done! Side note: The Sandwich Method is also really good way to break up with someone if the need arises--you have great hair, but this isn't going to work out, and I wish you the best in future dating endeavors. 

I ALSO LET STUDENTS REWRITE THEIR PAPERS IF THEY WANT TO. This puts the responsibility on them and off of me. If they don't want to, no problem! I no longer feel like I wasted a bunch of time giving a multitude of comments and corrections that students may or may not look at. I'm spending about a quarter of the time grading papers than I did in the past. 

When I was drinking the martyr Kool-Aide, I never said "No". 

When I first started teaching I did everything. I was on every instructional committee. If a colleague needed help I would drop everything to assist them. If a student needed help I would stay at lunch or after school and drop everything to assist them. I jumped through every hoop with a hope of some sort of validation that I was a good teacher. If I was on 10 committees, certainly I would be considered a good teacher. The more I did meant the better person I was, right? 

How I changed: It's simple. I say "no" now. It's quite liberating! It doesn't mean that I don't give extra assistance to colleagues and students. Not at all. I just do it on my terms. I say things like, "I don't have time for this right now, but let's meet tomorrow if you still need help." I tell students that I am happy to help them, but I need to take a break for lunch, and I schedule a time for them to come to me, a time that works with my needs. Boundaries make happy teachers and happy people in general. I also don't sign up for anything that I am not getting compensated for. Some of you are thinking, but I can't say no. You can!  Some of you are judging me as you read this. I can feel it. I'm also ok with that, because I am a much more balanced person now. We are allowed to have boundaries. 

As a martyr teacher, I worked for free on things that I found fulfilling or important.  

OMG! I have done so much free work over the last 20 years, a ridiculous amount of free work. I have coached cheer with a stipend that ended being under 50 cents an hour. I took a bunch of 7th graders on a week long science trip to Florida (multiple times) and had to use sick time since it was considered a "vacation'.  I'm not even a science teacher! I created the annual school literary magazine free of charge. I did homework club during lunch because my students needed it, every day. I taught drama and ran rehearsals after school free of charge and put on shows free of charge. I've advised multiple clubs and participated in multiple fundraisers, all free of charge. I was the Secondary Director for the School Union free of charge. Did I get satisfaction and joy from these things? ABSOLUTELY! Did I experience burn out? ABSOLUTELY! Did it make me feel superior to my colleagues? ABSOLUTELY! The more I did, the more superior I felt. It was like a drug of martyrdom. 

Did it make me teach better? Not really...

How I changed: This is a recent change for me. I just woke up one day last year and thought, I'm done working for free. I realized that all the time I was spending working for free, could have been time I could have been making money, continuing my education, or just doing things I like to do. I'm not saying, give up doing the things you love. I'm just saying don't feel like you HAVE to work for free to be a good teacher. I'm also saying, our culture EXPECTS teachers to do these things for free, and that is wrong. 

Note: I do strongly believe that every single teacher should be on the union board for at least one term. It's super important to support the union, but I do think it should be a paid position. 

At the end of the day, it's a job. It's your job. Yes, you are a teacher. Yes, you affect the future! Students look to you for guidance, but being a teacher is not all that you are.  You can be an excellent teacher and still have a life. In fact, you may be a better teacher if you are having time to get more satisfaction in other areas of your life. 

There is no other profession where society expects employees to do free work. If you can think of one, let me know in the comments!

Stop thinking that you need to do extra work to be a good teacher. Stop perpetuating the myth that good teachers make sacrifices.  We are not martyrs.